This is the Rewatch: Teen Wolf S1E3 ‘Pack Mentality’

We open on Scotty and Allison running around outside the school in the middle of the night for some reason. They break into a bus, because hey, a school bus is a great place to fuck, right? Everything is peaches, until they start kissing. And Scott wolfs out. And, oops, kills Allison.

Just kidding. It was only a dream. Scott hopes. It was pretty damn vivid. When he gets to school, he sees a bus with the back door ripped off, and blood splatters everywhere.

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Bad dog, Scotty. Very bad dog.

He rushes around, looking for Allison and finds her. Which is good. Except for this might mean Scotty killed somebody else. During his chemistry class, there’s a commotion. The police have confidently found a man with lethal injuries, and are transporting him on a stretcher into an ambulance.

Scott sits down to lunch with Stiles for their usual romance time, and worries over the fact that he is an accidental murderer. Until they are joined by Lydia, and the rest of the Brat Squad. Lydia invites herself and Jackson to Scallison’s date night. And they decide, for some horrible, misguided reason, to go bowling.

What do you mean I can't sit with you? I'm the Mean  Girl here.
“What do you mean I can’t sit with you? I’m the Mean Girl here.”

Later that day, the sheriff shows up at the animal clinic. Scotty has a mini-panic attack before he realizes that dear Mr. Stilinski is only there to have a police dog’s stitches removed, and ask Deaton a bunch of questions about animal bites. Deaton is avoidant. For reasons. Totally non-suspicious reasons. What?

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“I have the emotional range of a refrigerator.”

Fast forward. A deputy drives up to the Hale house to check it out and make sure it’s deserted. He’s totally the guy that will survive a horror movie, because when his dog starts freaking out, he chooses not to go inside the burnt-out old spooky house. Which is good. Because Derek is looming in an upstairs window.

As the deputy drives away, Scott shows up and is all like, ‘did I maybe do the murder?’ to which Derek responds, ‘probably. And for once, I’m gonna not be a useless piece of shit. If u wanna remember what happened return to the scene of the crime.’

Once again, cue ‘Team Skittles: Master Detectives!’ They drive to the school late that night. Stiles is miffed about having to keep watch, but agrees.

But Scott, I want to be batman.
“But Scott, I want to be batman. Ur crushnig my dremz.”

Scotty hops the fence, and goes back into the bus that’s all covered in blood. In flashes of memory, he realizes he didn’t do the murder. He was trying to save the guy while another big, scary monster (which he assumes is Derek) did the murder. And it’s like, ‘cool, Derek, why the fuck you would even want me to remember that you murdered a dude? Now I’m responsible for this information. Christ.’ But you know, then detective time is over, because group date bowling waits for nobody.

Due to the recent police curfew, Allison jumps out a window after her dad tries to tell her she can’t go out to see her boo thang. Lydia stares after Papa Argent for a few seconds, before exiting by way of the front door.

Cut scene: Derek is at the hospital visiting the dude that got wrecked in the back of a school bus, asking useless questions. Dude freaks out, and apologizes, though Derek seems confused as to why this might be.

"We are having so much fun. Look at this fun. We are having. Everybody wants to be here. Ha ha. Hahaha.:
“We are having so much fun. Look at this fun. We are having. Everybody wants to be here. Ha ha. Hahaha.”

Then it’s awkward date night, and everybody is upset. Jackson is great at bowling. Lydia pretends to be bad at bowling. Allison is great at bowling. Scott is awful at it. Just awful. Until Allison whispers sexy things in his ear. Then he becomes exponentially more awesome at bowling, due to the power of tru lust. Jackson is a pouty piss baby.

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There is no sexual tension here whatsoever.

JACKSON: you cheated.

SCOTT: how do u even cheat at bowling bruh

JACKSON: idk. But if u continue to be better at things than me, I will convince ur gurl u are a freak and steal her

SCOTT: bruh

Cut scene: Derek is filling up his camaro at a gas station. Papa Argent drives up. They proceed to have a beard off. Derek tries to challenge Papa’s authority, so the camaro ends up with a broken window.

My beard is better.
My beard is better.

 

You wanna fight, brah?
You wanna fight, brah?

 

 

 

 

 

 

The awful group date that nobody wanted ends and Scott drives Allison home. They do the kissy face outside her house. Meanwhile, Stiles climbs in through Scott’s window, as per usual. Ms. McCall hears him and comes at him with a baseball bat. There is a lot of confusion, as Scott also climbs in through the window.

"I see that it's Stiles. Should I still swing? Maybe?"
“Should I still swing? Maybe?”

MAMA MCCALL: Scott. Please don’t let your weird little friends into your bedroom in the middle of the night. This is codependent and creepy.

SKITTLES: what? That’s ridiculous.

MAMA MCCALL: does anyone care that there’s a curfew and you’re breaking the law?

SKITTLES: nope.

MAMA MCCALL: well. I tried. Good night.

Stiles then informs Scott that the dude ‘Derek’ attacked in the bus is dead. Scott decides it’s a great idea to run back out into the night to go confront Grumpy McEyebrows about his more illegal wolfy activities.

When Scotty gets to the Hale house, he and Derek have a knock-down, drag-out wolf fight, full of lots of anger, and poor communication skills, and testosterone.

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Angssstttt.

After Derek pummels Scott into submission, they have a kind of screamy chat, wherein Derek finally relays the key information that he is not, in fact, the one that bit Scott. They are both Beta puppies and the Alpha is still out there somewhere.

Because why not?
Because why not?

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