VO: I don’t know if it’s something with our network or what here — this episode also was bumped later thanks to the WIAA high school basketball tournaments — but I’m suddenly plunged into a fight between Leo and Abby, probably regarding sex, because on this show, it’s either sex or politics.
I mean, we had a feeling that Leo was kind of kinky thanks to the last episode where he asked Abby to fire him while wearing high heeled boots (which on the kink scale really is about a nice tasteful vanilla bean from Breyer’s), so I’m not surprised about this. What I’ll be surprised by is their definition of “disgusting” — I mean, they thought the Eiffel Tower was salacious and I was all “That old thing?”
Abby of course goes to her BFF Olivia to cry on her shoulder. Look if you don’t tell us what dustbusting is, I’m going to have to go to Urban Dictionary and it’s going to tell me it’s about anal sex.
KC: You ever think that Shondaland is a bit prudish when it comes to sex? They did that with the Eiffel Tower episode. They were freaking out about how “disgusting” it is, and when they finally described itm I was like “that’s all?” They go way over the line a lot more with violence than sex.
VO: I think that mirrors American society to be honest — we tend to get more freaked out about sex vs violence.
I love that Abby and Olivia are watching out for each other’s backs.
KC: I like the way they’ve been building this relationship over the past season or so. It bugged me that Liv had no girlfriends and it’s still weird that her BFF is her former employee, but whatever.
VO: BUT THEY WENT TO COLLEGE TOGETHER! That should count for something.
What the fuck kind of wig they did they put on Lena Dunham?
Here’s the thing with Lena Dunham — I haven’t seen Girls (it strikes me as a bit too introspective for my humor) so I have no opinion of her other than she can be remarkably tone deaf in public at times. I’m not surprised she’s a fan of Scandal and I hope she had fun on the set.
KC: I don’t hate Lena Dunham the way other people do. Her style is a bit grating but I think the reason that a lot of people hate her because she symbolizes a certain type of privileged, New York City creative class. That being said, I just tried to watch her first film Tiny Furniture the other day and was like “NOPE NOPE NOPE.” But I actually think she’s OK here.
VO: Olivia laying into her about the violation of privacy makes sense to me, but then again, I’m not surprised that people do stuff like this because people are shitheels.
KC: Especially in the Internet age.
VO: Huck (Diego) and David are going it alone? I love Huck’s request for immunity and Rosen’s “BUH BUH PLAN” Rosen’s thinking that things will go smoothly and that’s so adorable in a deluded way.
KC: He’s still a white hat, at the end of it all.
VO: Is Sue mirroring Olivia? Honestly, I think that what bugs me about Lena Dunham is her voice — which is entirely unfair and catty I know, but I can’t help it. The baby voice just grates on me. And that wig is terrible. I can’t believe I’m getting better at spotting wigs thanks to this show.
KC: It’s something that she’s developed over time, or maybe even just for this character because I’ve seen enough of Girls and that bit of Tiny Furniture and she doesn’t do that all the time.
VO:I think Shonda likes Lena Dunham because they gave her some great speeches. I also like Sue calling out Olivia out on her being judgmental about sex, because really, Olivia can get pretty judgy about sex (remember the whole thing regarding the president’s daughter and her first thought was that she had been coerced). As if kinky sex is something that only men invented.
KC: That makes sense. They have very similar writing styles I think, and have a thing for head-casey, neurotic female leads. As for Liv, she is pretty prudish overall, she prefers sex within a relationship (even if its with a married man) and gets judgy about people who enjoy casual sex.
VO: Mellie running for senator? At least that makes sense that she’ll build up a resume and experience for a presidential run.
KC: FINALLY Mellie is making sense. I didn’t get her “I wanna be President” thing with no experience. She’s smarter than that.
VO: The picture they used for Sue is hilarious.
I love that Quinn knows the difference between erotic suspension and ropes. That’s just something I don’t think B613 taught her.
KC: Hey Quinn has her OWN life now. I have really liked Quinn a lot for the past season and a half. I used to think she was the worst, now I kinda wish she’d get a spinoff and leave these jokers behind.
VO: HEY CHARLIE! I’m now screaming laughing at Charlie — methinks he’s into harder kink that maybe what Sue’s into. Nail guns usually are a no-no.
KC: I have missed him. He is always the wildcard, bitches. YEEE-HAW!
(Wrong Charlie, and yet… not)
VO: Olivia and PTSD and there’s something unnerving about Jake and Fitz talking about her without her there, but that seems to be the constant theme of the show.
KC: Cut from the same cloth, those two. They should date each other,
VO: Don’t make me look up fanfic for that. You know it’s out there.
I was hoping Agent Orange was going to be John Boehner.
Can I say I’m vaguely disappointed that Sue didn’t go for women also? I mean, with a libertine libido, I’d say a woman or two would be one of the thing she’d want to try out.
KC: You’re right. It’s very vanilla, and like old school, like she’s a 70’s Erika Jong type heroine.
VO: I’ll also say I don’t like seeing Abby be so judgy, but I can’t say I’m surprised by it. It just feels so — antiquated — especially in light of 50 Shades of Grey and the Midwest housewives discovering kink. Or maybe we knew about it all along — the winters here do get pretty brutal.
KC: It’s just very weird that all of the women here are aghast like they’ve never known anyone in that scene in D.C. That just seems very naive. And for someone like Olivia or Abby to not know seems very odd.
VO: OH YAY LIZZIE’S HAIR CALMED THE FUCK DOWN.
Cyrus complaining about the playground is hilarious. Unlike Cyrus, I hated the jungle gym, unless I could sit on top and lord over the plebes.
Can I say that one little thing — I have a hard time believing Lizzie’s kid would not notice a strange dude hanging out with her mom. I have a hard enough time hiding my grown-up conversations from my daughter — it’s like she senses when she is no longer the center of my world and goes, “I MUST DISRUPT THIS.”
But I also have criticized Empire and Lola because that girl was too sweet and quiet to be real. And she totally played Jamal and Hakeem by pretending to fall asleep. If that was my kid, she’d demand a two-hour concert. Thus ends my complaint about children on nighttime soaps.
KC: I can say as a kid I didn’t give a shit about the strange adults talking to my mom unless she forced me to talk to them, which I hated. And I know of a couple kids who are all about being in their own head unless they are called over to interact. I think they’re called “introverted kids” So every kid is different. I’m with you on Lola, I think she pretended to fall asleep so they’d shut the hell up.
VO: I love Leo at the meeting just screaming, “I’M IN,” he just wants the bullshit to end. Rosen is trying to be moral, but at the same time, he’s going to fuck that white hat up more by taking his stand.
KC: I dunno how’d you’d be able to be a true white hat that entrenched in Beltway politics.
VO: No sympathy for the kinky? WHEN WAS THIS EPISODE WRITTEN?
KC: This episode is a bit corny, dialogue-wise, isn’t it?
VO: Again, I question, what the fuck B613 has to do with Liv. It’s not like s\e was Command. But that leads to another problem I’ve been saying with the OMG moments on shows like Scandal and Empire. It’s like they sacrifice character development and internal consistency for these moments and then after you’ve got the rush, you’re sitting there with this sour aftertaste in your mouth. I’m not happy with this kind of writing to be honest and it’s much too easy to poke holes into the logic.
KC: Yeah, I don’t get why B613 is still a player frankly. Honestly, I hope with the major death they have planned that we can let go of the B613 storyline for a long time.
VO: Leo teasing Abby while doing some sort of tabata cross-fit workout as she types is a detail I love. I like how Abby is calling him out about his cavalier attitude about the fallout is accurate. I do love his expression when he listens to her because it’s one of respect and understanding — by the end you can tell he’s not happy she has to give this up because of him. But she’s not dumping him either — she’s made the choice to stick with him. Leo’s totally in love with her.
KC: I think they made indeed be the most stable and healthy couple of this show. Which means now that I’ve said it, I’ve ruined them.
VO: I’ve seen critiques of Cy’s reaction to Abby’s news about resignation saying it was kind of gross he didn’t stick with her, but at the same time my thought is, “Do you not know Cyrus? He can see the fall out from this and is already plotting.”KC: Cyrus has no loyalties, bruh!!
VO: Olivia — WOMAN WERE THERE NO HOTELS IN WASHINGTON DC? I mean, if you’ve got the power and money she does, I’d be playing it safe and taking the guy to a hotel.
But I think it’s also effective in that she’s dealing with her PTSD and trying to get out and do things like a normal person, but it’s not working.
KC: She’s SO not used to doing this.
VO: Damn Shonda writes great monologues for people. I think the testimony destroys the idea that because a woman likes casual sex doesn’t mean she can’t say no to people.
KC: I wish she was more consistent about this though, all of her “sexuallly liberated” characters use sex to act out.
VO: True. It’s a frustrating thing — like you can’t enjoy casual sex simply because you want sex. It’s got to get messy. But that’s also soaps I suppose — there wouldn’t be fun conflict otherwise.
Olivia really doesn’t like to be hugged.
KC: She can only handle romantic intimacy. See above.
VO: Of course Cyrus would take care of Abby and want dirt on these people. Those concerns are not mutually exclusive at times.
Dammit. Why did Lizzie’s hair go back to terrible. Watching Mellie and Lizzie together, I wonder if we’re seeing Olivia’s power in Washington wane and other people coming to fill the vacuum such as Leo and Lizzie.
KC: YAAAAAS. I am actually all for a Mellie/Lizzie partnership.
VO: Huck and the murder — this makes me wonder if Huck’s gonna die this season with Shonda saying someone major was going to die with one of her shows. I have a feeling Olivia’s not going to be happy with these results and how much farther can they take him?
KC: I think so for sure. I’m hoping it’s him actually. I no longer have sympathy for him because he’s so damaged and amoral I don’t want him to be reunited with his family. I was actually genuinely shocked by the kill here, not just the act, but just that it seemed so reactionary and sloppy for Huck.
VO: Holy shit Quinn warning Olivia and playing the pragmatic. She is not the worst by a long shot.
Rosen you didn’t slit her throat, but you kind of let it happen and aren’t doing anything to stop it. I think Rosen slid past Quinn to the the worst because he’s trying to justify to himself what he did was right, but really, he wasn’t that great.
Weirdly in contrast, Leo seems more sympathetic right now.
KC: I hated this speech because it was so self-indulgent, like he was trying to convince himself he was not at fault. It was like the “song of the ‘nice guy’” Meanwhile Huck is like “uh-huh. uh-huh… whatever”
VO: EXACTLY. That’s what pissed me off. Fitz and Jake are talking about her, whereas she’s swinging around a different way to try and get better.
KC: To echo a mutual friend it really bugged me all of the people on Twitter who were like “finally Olivia is with a brother!” Like Edison never existed. Noobs. Still Liv, is pulling from the Meredith Grey/Peaches “Fuck The Pain Away” playbook, and it would be awesome to see a Shondaland character choose therapy.