It’s a family affaaaaaaaaair! And by that,we mean a number of affairs within the family.
VO: We open with the family interview. I swear the journalist looks like Phil Coulson’s baby brother.
KC: Oooh you are right!
VO: I swear, this season has been Olivia thrown for a loop.
KC: I think this season has been about Olivia’s “It’s Handled” persona coming apart at the seams, and people seeing just how much of her own dirt she was sweeping under the rug.
VO: And Fitz is also a shitty dad also. How is it that Mellie and Olivia were fighting over this dude? Why were they even interested in this guy?
KC: I swear I don’t know. WIth each episode, it becomes more ridiculous to me that anyone has ever found Fitz attractive or that this whining bully has ever had a career in public office, even with all of his privilege. He’s like if Reggie from the Archies was president.
VO: Awkward family dinners — I suspect that the family dinner is trying to repair bridges from being absentee parents and it sucks ass. I don’t blame the kids for being resentful for one fucking minute.
Because I’d be like “WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE ASSHOLES?” with them.
KC: Though I don’t know how old the daughter is supposed to be, her reaction to her parents having sex – or sex in general – seems like that of a 12 year old. “Mommy and Uncle Andrew ‘did it?'” Seriously?
VO: I would also like to say I don’t think that the Obamas are like this. Despite Sasha and Maliia looking like they were over the Great Wall of China and the Inauguration. Because they’re teenagers. Teens don’t look impressed at anything. Except maybe Beyonce.
KC: Well geez I hope the real first office isn’t like a Shonda Rhimes show or we are all screwed, and one step away from World War 3.
VO: In OPA and starving off b613 makes sense, but it’s kind of hard given the pots of money (and admittedly it makes my little policy wonk heart happy to see them talking about budgets — I’m such a nerd).
KC: How does Rowan still have so much access to B613 after getting fired? When normal people get fired thy get their e-mail shut off 5 minutes after they get escorted out, and the locks are changed. Seems like Rowan is like a consultant or something, skulking around like he is in B613’s business. Also why is he talking to Liv about this on a damn cell phone? These people are awful at this, to be in the intrigue game and all.
VO: I honestly figured that he’s in so deep he just knows how things move. And there are people still loyal to him over Jake, so they might be all, ‘Yo. Your daugther is in some messed up shit,” with him at Spybucks or where spies go for coffee.
For once Olivia is talking sense about letting Quinn go. She walked. And Charlie being the jealous boyfriend makes sense to me — but I think he’s also not sure where her loyalties really are. Is she B613 or OPA deep cover? Go with your instincts Charlie, I’m just sayin Quinn’s a mess.
KC: I am back to thinking Quinn should die. This Huckleberry Quiin bullshit is just gross. The is Izzie and George territory for those reading that understand Shondaspeak. I liked the idea of her being deep undercover, or a wildcard, but this romance stuff is just lazy, weird writing.
VO: Fitz and Olivia should not be making out with the kids running around the White House, you know?
KC: That’s not even the worst place they’ve made out/hadsex #electricalcloset
VO: Aw Andrew and Mellie. At least Mellie has some sense when she thought about the kids until apparently he hit the magic button.
KC: I hate that Mellie Mel got busted so early. She deserved to have a lot more illicit sex.
VO: Mellie should’ve been able to do it all over the re-election campaign trail. Why didn’t she just lock the damn door? Jerry is gonna burn shit down. I hope that he does. Because really their parents are acting suspicious as hell.
KC: Jerry is a sociopath. Just like his dad! Which dad am I referring to? You decide!
VO: Olivia and Andrew. I’m so happy he called her out on her bullshit.
KC: Liv gets called out weekly. And honestly she deserves it. Everyone keeps telling her to use her head and for whatever reason, Fitz and his Golden Wang resets her back to stupid with every episode like she’s on the Flintstones.
VO:Hey Rowan! I feel like with Rowan the warning is out of love. Oh come on Olivia, own your shit when you drag everyone out into the light. You want to do this because there’s anger and spite in what happened with you and your parents.
KC: Rowan does love his daughter, he’s still a bad parent but he does love her.
VO: Karen’s quesitons are fucking fantastic. I feel like Mellie — despite her power hungry tendencies and crazy plotting — is a better parent than Fitz. But Fitz checked out of EVERYDAMNTHING a long time ago. Which is why he is the worst.
KC: On the same parenting note, Mellie tries, she really does. Fitz checked out of everything like the whiny little bitch he is. Everyone is a door marked exit to him, he needs help to put his damn pants on and then swats people’s hand away like “I CAN DO IT MYSEEEEEEEEELF!”
VO: Adnan and Mama Pope are crazy. Adnan — you are totally over your head sweetie.
KC: Adnan is gonna get offed soon. I dunno where this storyline is going, I have to admit. They are both wildcards, but not in the way I expected, more like the writers don’t know what to do with them yet.
VO: Charlie is totally quizzing her not out of jealously I think but more for B613. Maybe there is jealousy, but it’s also other stuff with B613. And I think that Charlie is probably a dead man very soon. The whole relationship discussion in front of Demitri is just hilarious in a darkly comic way.
KC: I think it is jealousy in a way, Charlie wants Quinn for himself and B613. I actually like whatever Quiin has with Charlie, because Charlie is so irredeemingly nuts. I like him better than Huck these days, Charlie owns his crazy.
VO: Jerry running the twitter account — I loved seeing some of the re-tweets online with “THE OBAMAS WOULD NEVER GO FOR THIS.” See, this is what happens when you ship your kids off to boarding school and don’t talk to them.
KC: Again, sociopath.
VO: I’m also dying of laughter regarding Mellie and Andrew and Karen walking in. Because it’s so over the top. Like the adults have gone all Freaky Friday and are acting like the teenagers and the teenagers are all “I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS SHIT!”
Mellie, you gotta tell Olivia to stay out of the parenting. And Adnan is back with OPA. I actually find the actress pretty awesome and I wish she will get more interesting roles like that. Harrison saying he owes her makes me wonder what she did to help him get out.
KC: I don’t think we will ever see Harrison’s backstory. (Well, especially with the actor probably going to jail soon, but that’s another story) I like Adnan but I really need for her story with Harrison and Maya to gel.
VO: Wow. Jake grew a pair. Methinks he’s going to turn more into Command. Scott Foley seems like a lovely guy in interviews, but honestly, he doesn’t have the same gravatas as Joe Morton regarding his speeches.
KC: His speeches suck, I know speechifying seems to be a Command job requirement but I always check out when Scott Foley goes in. Instead of a monologue it seems like he’s talking to himself in the bathroom.l
VO: KICK HIS ASS CYRUS! I wish he brained Jake with that vase. I feel like Cyrus is reckoning with the balance between what James wanted — justice — and the reality of wanting to keep power.
KC: Now that Cyrus is losing, and losing in a big personal way I think he’s starting to see what cost of power really is.
VO: MORRIS! HEY MORRIS! Glad you didn’t get fired!
KC: hahaha!
VO: You know what? I love Mama Pope’s speech to her daughter. It’s evil and chaotic, but it also makes sense — like a purring, friendly evil version of “FIRST LADY? HOW MEDIOCRE!” thing her dad gave her in the season premiere.
KC: It’s more than that. Calling her “The Help” was cruel. It was meant to hurt and knock Olivia’s self esteem down a couple of pegs. Not saying there is not some level of truth to it, I always thought one of the big messages of Scandal was that you had a whole cadre of people (Mellie, Cy, Liv) giving up their careers, happiness, their lives to get what little of that trickle-down power than they could from this clueless straight white dude they all care about for some reason. But what Maya said, unlike Rowan’s “You have to be twice as good” speech, did NOT come from a place of protection. Maya is ashamed.
VO: Totally with you on the big message theme. But I can see Maya’s viewpoint on it. I wonder if that’s also how she viewed Rowan? I don’t know if Maya’s ashamed of her daughter or is mocking her to be honest, because it’s pretty damn clear that Olivia’s parents are the worst, even if they do love her (and with Maya that may be questionable).
Adnan and Harrison on the run is just kind of hot. I now want backstory of those two like we had with Huck. Because it would be hot as hell.
KC: I hope they shot that episode before Columbus Short goes to jail. Sorry.
VO: Dammit. I forgot about that.
Drunk Mellie is the best Mellie. “What are we paying you for?” is another reminder of the maid line from Mama Pope.
KC: Yup, exactly. And when Mellie and Mama Pope are coming from the same place? Mama Pope is no friend.
VO: And Karen’s not a real teenager — teens don’t say “doing it,” they just start cussing like mad.
KC: I think she may be emotionally stunted.
VO: Well, with Fitz as their dad, would you be surprised? Fitz is seriously the worst. You didn’t expect your wife to cheat simply because you’ve been cold and withholding affection? You are the woooorrrrssstt /jean ralphio.
KC: From the very beginning, Fitz has been clueless and cruel, from the night of the rape, he couldn’t figure out that she was more than just tired and didn’t want to snuggle? WTF isn’t he her husband? Isn’t he clued in to her body language? One of my friends said that Scandal is a big ass ad for not getting married and if Fitz is any indication, then I agree.
VO: I hate the whole Huck thing — he doesn’t see Quinn’s choices made in her life. He’s just telling her what he wants versus asking her what she wants. And all the tongue talk is a good way to kill everyone’s sex drive. Quinnl icking huck? The man just came in his pants.
KC: I hate you for that mental image. I really hate you.
These are just two supremely fucked up people who terrify me.
VO: No you don’t. You love me.
Rowan and the Smithsonian is just charming as hell. I like to think that that he really does like prehistoric animals and all that and he’s happy now doing his hobby. But Joe Morton’s read on Jake is just always good. Morton really needs to teach Foley how to do these speeches. I think if Rowan had happily retired, this speech would’ve gone differently.
Holy shit I think that Mellie’s lie was awful and I really do wish she told Fitz earlier that his dad raped her. Marriage is about communication and they both fucked up in that. But also, looking back at the previous seasons, Mellie’s also been a sexual woman with Fitz — remember the saddest blowjob in the world in the shower with Fitz? But above all else, the communication between those two is just damaged.
KC: I agree communication is key and I wish she had finally told him, but many rape survivors keep their secret to the very end, and when the son of your rapist is bullying you and yelling at you, well, I can’t see that’s a great entry point to such a revelation.
VO: Point taken. He’s always just been a shitty ass person. And even if someone goes away and becomes distant, he finds a substitute you know? With Mellie it was Olivia and when Olivia left it was Amanda Tanner. So no matter what, Fitz is still the worst.
I feel like Cyrus gets to play the dead husband card. But I feel like both of them should set fire to everything and walk away. Cyrus…seriously, I love his little speech with Olivia. I feel like it’s a warmer, fuzzier Cyrus.
KC: Between this and his little moment with Ella I think we may see a different side to Cy. I don’t want to see him stop being a master strategist and manipulator, but I would love to see him renew the season 1 bond he had with Liv and be an awesome evil dad to Ella, grooming her for a life of EVIL POWER!!!!!!
VO: Look, Olivia, you’ve been failing at your job for awhile now, but I suspect that’s because you’ve been dickamatized by Fitz. See what you do as a job and don’t get personal.
Seriously Olivia, you’ve been asleep at the wheel. What the fuck man? I’ve got better security on my computer than you, and I’m NOT A FUCKING CRISIS MANAGER.
KC: I am pretty sure she’s not a crisis manager anymore. Who in her right mind would hire her?
VO: I wouldn’t hire her to get me out of a parking ticket.
And I predict that Rowan is going to die at the end of this season. Which will make me sad as hell, because I have been enchanted by Joe Morton. But if Mama Pope continues to live to complicate shit, that would also make me happy.
KC: I feel like without Rowan as command, Joe Morton has a lot less to do, I kinda hope Jake dies and Rowan returns, but I don’t think that is gonna happen. I could actually go with Maya dying first because she totally doesn’t have a point right now outside of shooting people/menacing Adnan/insulting her daughter.
VO: ONE MORE THING! I’m kind of proud that Adnan played Harrison. I don’t know why, but I am. And Jake just not putting the drop on those two? How much of that do you think is personal vs looking for more intel?
