VO: I should say right now that Twitter warned me that this episode was booty. And yeah, you know things are sketchy when the smartest people in the room include Quinn.
KC: Everyone on this show is going OFF THE DAMN RAILS. I am like “I don’t even know you anymore!” to all of the characters. After seeing the episode all the way through, the episode itself wasn’t awful. I just hate everyone right now.
VO: At least they didn’t drop the Catherine murder angle. And I kind of like how Quinn is just being upfront now and snarky. “Don’t you have some ball to go to?” Also kind of odd that Olivia is opening up about Jake, but I wonder if that’s because he’s not around to hear her rant, Abby’s battling her and Huck is no good for discussions. Just the fact that she admitted she had a boyfriend is a huge thing.
KC: Quinn is such a snarky bitch. In a way she’s like a greek chorus now, or Twitter. Saying the shit we often say about the show and characters.
VO: And Huck’s busy spying on his family, which is just damn creepy.
KC: I have to go back and watch the Huck episode again. I feel like, I dunno, like maybe his wife would be more … understanding? I dunno. I mean she’s thinking of protecting her kid and Huck is just plain nuts but i dunno. Maybe there’s no hope for him at this point and she’s gonna go for protecting her kid over helping Huck not be nuts.
VO: Are they witnessing a murder? Yup. They witnessed a murder.
KC: What I don’t get why he didn’t shoot her in the head. Is it weird to think that?
VO: No. I think that he didn’t want to murder her given that she had information he wanted and didn’t know where it was hidden. Why he killed her instead of kidnapping her I don’t know.
Olivia, you OK? And Huck, telling her how long it takes for a body to decompose is probably not the answer to the question she was asking.
KC: Huck is so gone.
VO: And then we’re with the alcoholic Fitz. I have no idea how people get shit done around the White House with all that booze. At least Cyrus’ hair has calmed down. Getting laid has done him wonders.
KC: It’s true. Everyone in the White House is an alcoholic. I wonder who started it all. Maybe Big Jerry? This seems like a legacy thing. And its true, getting laid has done wonders for Cy’s overall look.
VO: You know, I just realized that Papa Pope is undoing all this work that he did last season by battling with Jake. I mean, all it’s doing is just shoving Olivia into Fitz’s arms. Which might work for Rowan, given that Fitz is just too stupid to interfere with his stuff.
KC: That’s what I don’t get. Rowan is not making sense to me right now. Like before it made sense to do all he was doing to destroy Fitz, but why Jake, especially when Jake is technically more under his control as Liv’s lover?
VO: Jake charged at him first. I suspect Rowan would’ve been happy to let her have him if they stayed on the island and out of his damn hair. And whatever Liv drank wasn’t that cheap. It wasn’t Barefoot wines (why yes, I’m a snob). But I do have to ask how is she still standing after all that booze?
KC: Cause she’s a PRO!!!
VO: I wonder how the hell she has such a big blind spot with her father. And this whole scene to me is just that Olivia is desperately lonely and needs someone to open up to, but often to her detriment. Is her blind spot with her father just this refusal to admit how dark he can be?
KC: I mean, if you were Liv and everyone in your life was a lying murderer you’d probably have some big blind spots too. And honestly, I was kind of blind myself. I thought, above everything Rowan has some semblance of love for his daughter, even as he manipulated her. Now I have no clue who Rowan is working for and to what end. No character is making sense to me now.
VO: I know I love Mellie, but what the hell is going on with her? I feel like she’s made one step forward and two steps back from the last episode. Which makes me sad, but I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised by her ache and mourning and how it’s a weird process to go through.
Either that or Bellamy Young just really wanted to wear a robe, Uggs and sweats for her character. “I DON’T HAVE TO SPEND HOURS IN MAKEUP? WOO HOO!”
KC: INCONSISTENCY. Its bugging the hell out of me. And it seems like the writers don’t pay close attention to characters from one episode to the next. I know that they were heading to full-on psychotic break with Mellie this season, and they went there, but it’s jarring after the last episode where it seemed like she was getting better.
But straight up, she’s got Uggs and sweats but hair extensions and false eyelashes for days. It’s hilarious.
VO: And Olivia’s job and the shakedown, is just kind of dumb to be honest. I know there’s dirty cops and shit, but this just seems. I don’t know, unless Olivia’s hitting hornet’s nests with sticks to see what happens. Which is a dangerous game, but whatever.
KC: Which doesn’t seem like her really.
VO: “Abs –” David totally wanted phone sex.
KC: Broken David Rosen makes me sad.
VO: OLIVIA WHY DIDN’T YOU REALIZE JAKE WAS IN TROUBLE WHEN THE DUDE DIDN’T ANSWER YOUR CALLS FOR DAYS? THE DUDE ALWAYS SEEMED TO PICK UP THE PHONE!
KC: Right, her intuition was taking her in the right direction and yet she’s not really following it. Something is WRONG.
VO: Finally we get an explanation about Huck’s family. I get her anger — the man walked away without word or explanation and that sucks. And I get how he is too — if you love someone, you’d trust them. but given that years had passed without a word, so that love will wither. That’s how it goes down. Huck is not Odysseus nor is she Penelope. Although the thought of her weaving and battling off freeloading suitors entertains me. But I’m weird.
KC: LOL so literary! Love it. I dunno, and usually I am totally NO STRIKES YOU’RE OUT and unromantic but it makes me sad that she’s shut him out like this, I just maybe because I know what actually happened with him, I was hoping a reunion with his lost family could save him
VO: If you think about it though — that is a really far-fetched story that Huck just gave her. And I really don’t think his family can save him, because they’re not encased in amber as this happy family that is going to take him back. Kim’s had a life without him and had to learn how to build a life without him and to have him come waltzing back — I get her anger, I guess is what I’m trying to say.
Quinn is actually having brains. Holy shit that’s impressive.
KC: ugh you make her sound like a zombie, boo.
VO: BRRRAAAAAIIIIINNNNSSS! And you can tell thing are getting tense — Cyrus’ hair is getting weird again.
Poor Abby. The girl looks like she needs a massage and a long vacation. All these people asking for favors and stuff from her and all she wants is to take the heels off, hit people and drink wine.
KC: I feel Abby too. It’s weird that this episode Abby and Quinn make the most sense to me. Abby’s been OK since last season honestly. She’s not nuts, she one of the most reasonable people on the show, and she is taken for granted a LOT.
VO: Jake, seriously how weird is it that you’re eating with the guy who wants to bone your girlfriend? And Fitz, you’re seriously the worst. You want him out of the way just so you can get into Liv’s pants. And Jake you’re wrong about estimating whether or not Fitz is good based on why Liv loves him. LIv’s kind of stupid when it comes to love. I’m just sayin’.
KC: They both suck, but Jake is hotter and less THE WORST than Fitz. Still, Liv must have a cooch that works mystic hoodoo because these dudes will NOT LET GO OF HER. What must it be like to have such power?
VO: I don’t know. I would love to know. It’s got to be annoying though because they keep blowing up her phone.
Poor Lauren. That poor secretary needs a raise because you know she doesn’t get paid enough for this insanity.
KC: I would have BEEN quit.
VO: And Mellie is scary, even if she’s in a bathrobe, sweats and uggs. When did Quinn start learning about incisions and such?
KC: Girlfriend did a lot of homework over summer break. I am actually starting to like her.
VO: Huck didn’t you think that something was weird when she agreed to let you see your son, not in public, but in the house?
KC: We all know Huck’s brain is not working right.
VO: I weirdly like Cyrus’ nickname for Abby. And Cyrus calling out Jake’s behavior is just awesome for the murder.
KC: Cy is still mostly consistent in his behavior. We have been seeing less of him this season as a major player but he’s still one of the more honest characters, despite the fact that he’s evil.
VO: Rowan really doesn’t like any of Olivia’s boyfriends does he? I think this is the first time I’ve seen Rowan lie to her. They should’ve just stayed on that island. And there’s some weird ass subtext in the line “For a time, he belonged to me,” as if Jake was some sort of pet he could hand over.
KC: He said something similar about Liv last season. I really don’t get his motivation now. And now crazy mom is starting to look better. WHO CAN WE TRUST SCANDAL???
VO: Sometimes I wonder if Michelle Obama wants to sit around the Oval Office and eat Doritos.
KC: Who says she doesn’t every once in awhile?
VO: And now we’re reenacting Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf in the Oval Office. Why those two haven’t divorced yet, I don’t know. Any bets on Mellie going to murder people now?
I’m more impressed that Mellie has kept a grip on that glass. And her whole “war hero” and “He had a point” just has me making faces of horror I can’t describe. I’m not sure if it’s that she’s looking for a reason, or if she’s realizing the bullshit that happened or what. I just think she broke with reality.
KC: I dunno what they are gonna do next with Mellie Mel, but I hope they do it soon. I never liked the “crazy” sub plot and it’s just gone too far. She’s totally wrong, and its totally a psychotic break but I wondered if the rationalization was to also help her get over Fitz being distant too. Like all of this can happen so Fitz and her can serve the higher purpose of being the President and First Lady. Still wrong, but…
VO: Rosen is totally trashed and his confession with Abby. I get his frustration and anger about everything about the power. The files may have made him a winner, but the clock is ticking on whether or not he’s going to crack. And the whole “I was trying to be Olivia Pope,” is another warning signal for Abby: DO NOT BE OLIVIA POPE.
KC: Olivia Pope isn’t even Olivia Pope. It’s nothing to emulate, She’s fucked up and makes horrible choices.
VO: And Abby is totally Liv’s friend, even if they’re fucked up in the head at times. No one else could hug Olivia like that.
KC: I like their fucked up friendship. More shows should have that. A good frenemy relationship makes a show better.
OK. Abby is also one of the smart people in this show right now. Because how the hell does Olivia believe Cyrus, her dad and Fitz?
KC: Because she wants to. She has severe daddy issues.
VO: Mellie showering — does that mean she’s going to be back to our badass?
KC: I think so. If anything we may see her even more determined to First Lady it up. It’s her Calling now. This is crazy I can get behind.
VO: As much as I liked drunk and smelly Mellie, I hope that she’s determined. I hope that she also continues with the lacks of fucks to give as she figures out her own life. I hope she doesn’t try to kill Jake, but this being Scandal, I wouldn’t be surprised if that happened.
Of course Fitz would punch Jake in the face while he’s shackled. LIke he would do it any other way. And I find this an interesting thing with how Fitz feels brave and does things like this when there isn’t a threat.
In short: FITZ IS THE WORST.
KC: Fitz needs to die, but also, it was weird to make the beating about Olivia and not Jerry’s death. Fitz really is a failure as a father, a husband, a lover, and a president. But he excels at being a sack of shit.
VO: Naw, a sack of shit you can use to fertilize plants. Fitz is just useless.